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Edinburgh 2012

Trains, Fingers, Crisps, Sunday Session - oh and some touch

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Theme tune!


The Merry Travelling Custard Tournie Team headed off to Edinburgh recently to keep our title as the hardest partyers of them all. We can confidently claim this as a success, with 3 core members maintaining a level of intoxication rarely seen on mainland rail services in the UK (except perhaps in the Valleys but you can understand why they never want to be sober.)

The meeting place was set and time confirmed, the team began to arrive for a few warm up tipples before we boarded the sleeper train to Edinburgh. Some decided to eat (wisely) others declined (less wise) and naturally Ange got lost trying to find the pub and had to be rescued from walking in the wrong direction. We boarded the train and laid claim to our fancy sleeping compartments.  Frank and Axe were wisely bunked up together as it was thought this would hopefully contain the snoring to one room. How little we appreciated what their joint efforts could be after many beers….
We reconvened in the restaurant carriage and were getting nicely ensconced into some gentle drinking games when asked to quieten down. Surprisingly the guards didn’t appreciate our rendition of “The Grand Old Duke of York” even though the “first class” customers were giggling quietly into their vino. The Game Of Life is always in play, and more recently T-E-N. For those unfamiliar with these international rules the utterance of m-i-n-e results in t-e-n press ups. Those special enough to then shout give me t-e-n have to do 9+1 lunges with the patented Stevo arm pump. This resulted in Scooby being requested by the guard to stop “dancing” (takes Dad dancing to whole new levels), her exclamation that she wasn’t dancing, she was lunging; he retorted “well stop working out – this isn’t a gym”. Some would say he missed the point ever so slightly. The guards then decided that
Hot Custard were no longer welcome aboard… especially once Cece started requesting free water.
After being threatened with being ejected at Crewe the bulk of the team bailed for bed about 1 am leaving a few behind to continue messing with the guards. We were rocked awake in Edinburgh
about 7am and trotted off to the hostel for a slap up brekkie and to drop our gear.

We arrive at the pitches on a blustery but beautifully sunny morning and set up “camp”. This involved finding the driest patch of ground and dumping our bags on it. After a classic Custard warm
up (standing in a circle throwing the ball around whilst Newbie tries in vain to loosen his back on the ground) we started our first match – no idea who against, my memory is not what it once was! There
was a comedy moment at the start of the second half where we fielded an all lady side on the pitch.
Some might call this arrogance as it was a mixed comp. The ladies just said they wanted to reduce the error rate and actually get some touch downs scored…. We topped our pool and found ourselves
facing up to Galaxy Edinburgh in the semi. This was going to be a gun game. Both teams pulled out all the stops and with 5 minutes left it was neck and neck. Sadly (for some) Galaxy edged it by a single touchdown, ensuring they progressed to the final against BBR’s Rest of the World. Now at this point some of the more dedicated drinkers of Custard tapped out to hide in the club house and rehydrate. The Scottish team Sixpack were keen for their 3rd/4th play off so a very select few of the team manned up and donned their boots again to take them on. With only 3 lads and 5 lasses subs were thin on the ground but we dug deep and brought the game down to a dropoff. At this point Dan and Shaun have been on the entire game and looked like they were flagging but nothing compared to poor Newbie. Luckily the whole reason we drafted Shaun for the tournie becomes apparent as he steps a girl and pelts the length of the pitch to score the winning touch down for Custard!

After all the playing was over we could finally move on to the important part of every trip…. Court.

Custard Courts are legendary and for good reason. Scooby and Alan and Steve went to get the booze and after the fastest trip around Sainsbury’s Scooby gets ID’d paying – this results in A&S asking if
the checkout lady wants to ID them too. She responds there’s no need as he is clearly over 18….
This then results in them finding out that all 3 of them are the same age. A&S respond “I know, I’m ancient”…. Cue very insulted lady and Scooby getting ready to intervene in case she glasses A&S.
This tournie’s court is run by Ange, she introduces some new rules of her own… this includes calling everyone by their real name. Shame she doesn’t know them…. fallen on her own sword – again!
Court escalates as box head is passed round and Shaun and Dan get repeatedly fined for being brought in to win the comp for Custard and failing. This being Edinburgh with some unfounded claims to grandeur there was no fancy dress, this gave the ladies of Custard to a chance show case some of the rest of their wardrobes. There was a rumour that several had to go out and buy clothes that weren’t sport or fancy dress related….. In fashionably late style Custard headed off for the after party where Shaun got MVP (clearly no one else realised he was meant to win it for us… awkward).
Jaegerbombs were drunk, Frank smoke bombed and big face little face pictures dominated folks SD cards. The real party began at Fingers Piano Bar…. I hear it was awesome and the photos on the
camera of truth testify to this too – everyone is smiling. As for details well you had to be there…. And not be one of us….. or any other touch player in fact….

Sunday arrived all too soon; sore heads were prolific but had nothing on the number of Custardians who were still inebriated from the night before. Suitable hangover food was sought out, everyone
has their poison for this. Some folk rely on the Golden Arches, others on a posh brunch; for some in Custard it was back to the pub and just topping up the blood level in their alcohol stream. An intrepid 4 braved the winds to climb Arthur’s Seat and enjoy the fabulous views across Edinburgh and the sea. This certainly blew their hangovers away. Everyone reconvened to catch the train back to London, you’d think this would be a quiet affair with some passing out and others quietly reading books. You’d be wrong. A hardcore trio (who shall remain anonymous) decided the time was ripe for drinking games in the bar carriage for the entire 5 hour trip back to London. Highlights of this included a public proposal of marriage in the first class marriage and the “crisp game”. A distinct lowlight was a naked strip tease…. Luckily the guards on this trip had a more open mind the ones on the way up….

We arrived back into Kings Cross broken, exhausted and still a little bit drunk. Yet another epic Custard weekend was over and we now had an entire week at work to get over it before the next